


this year’s love had better last

by Ford_Ye_Fiji



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, I hope Vanya sounds like herself I’ve never written her before ahh, I’m so nervous, JUST SIBLINGS BEING GOOD SIBLINGS!!!, Maybe - Freeform, No Romance, No beta we die like mne, Not Beta Read, Sadness, Ugh, also, eventually, how to write child Five, i might add it, theres a second chapter to this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-27
Updated: 2019-03-01
Packaged: 2019-11-06 14:45:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17941709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ford_Ye_Fiji/pseuds/Ford_Ye_Fiji
Summary: In the end, she has no one.





	1. I start to forget how my heart gets torn

Vanya gently placed the violin down in its case, the velvet interior smooth and soft. She took a moment to run her hand along it before closing the lid gently, the case making a soft click when it closed.

Vanya knelt down, placing the case under her bed where it was usually kept. She stood again, mouth working on some thought before she turned and left her room, soft and silent.

She’s tired of being silent.

She peers around the corner of the hallway watching Allison, Luther, and Diego laughing and crowing over a game of tag. Diego seems to be taking the game far too seriously as he usually does. Klaus and Ben are sandwiched in the far corner of the room talking to each other about some assignment. Klaus giggles loudly and Ben gives a hesitant smile.

Vanya watches them quietly from under her bangs.

They’re loud and unruly and awfully happy.

Despite the things that their father sometimes makes them do, at least they’ve got each other to hold onto. 

Vanya has no one.

She jumps at a flash from behind her and her dark eyes widen at the sight of Five smiling widely, "Vanya! I was just looking for you!" His smile turns sly, "There’s something I want to show you."

Well. Perhaps she does have someone.

Vanya follows him as he clambers up the carpeted stairs, two at a time. He turns noticing her following along slowly, "Vanya, c'mon!"

When she only stares back at him like a deer in the headlights, he rolls his eyes and scoffs, "Slowpoke." He grabs her hand and pulls her along behind him. 

Vanya allows a small smile.

She balks when they reach the locked door to the roof, finally speaking, "We're not allowed up here at night."

Five smirks, "Well, I figured since I’ve finally mastered spatial teleportation, we could celebrate."

Vanya shakes her head, "We don’t have the key."

Five grins, "No, we don’t." And then in another flash he’s gone. Vanya blinks and she watches the door open from the outside. Five peers around the thick door triumphantly, "C'mon!"

Vanya, as she always does, follows, but Five slows down so that she can walk beside him. He pulls a bag out of his coat and passes it to her.

It’s a sandwich.

She takes a bite and smiles as he gestures at the ground, one of the old tarps spread out on the roof. The two sit, Five already tearing into his peanut butter and marshmallow concoction. Vanya follows suit, legs crossed.

She looks up at the night sky and then tugs on his sleeve, "Look. The stars are out."

They both look up.

The night is surprisingly clear, a few stars stubbornly twinkling despite the city's lights in the dark expanse. From their spot on the roof, it almost feels like they’re closer to the night and high above everyone else. Vanya feels very small.

She always feels small though.

Five seems to notice how she’s feeling and he nudges her shoulder gently, nodding his head at the city, "Look. Doesn’t it feel like we're above everything?"

Vanya tilts her head.

The cities lights are more artificial and less breathtaking, but she does feel like the whole world is at her feet.

Even if the city is somehow _less_ than the stars, it’s still _beautiful._

The corners of Five's mouth quirk up when he notices the growing smile on his sister's face. He brushes the crumbs off of his hands and reaches into his pocket.

Vanya looks up when he presses something into her hands, "Here." She looks down in surprise. It’s the key. Five shrugs his shoulders at her astonished expression and states matter-of-factly, "I palmed it off of dear old pops earlier."

She doesn’t say ' _why?_ ' but Five catches her meaning anyway, "So you can come up here whenever you want."

It’s the nicest thing anyone has ever done for her, with the exception of receiving the violin. Vanya's lower lip trembles and she knows Five doesn’t like hugs, but she throws her arms around him anyway.

Five harrumphs but he pats her back gently.

It isn’t much, but it's enough to make that day a _good_ day.

* * *

 

The next time the door creaks open its many months later and Vanya is alone.

She gently closes it behind her, eyes darting around fearfully. When no one pops out from behind things to berate her for sneaking out of bed, she sighs with relief. 

She taps over to the ratty tarp and kneels down.

The sky is cloudy and overcast, and the fog from that evening's rain earlier still clings to the edges of the city like a wispy cloak. The lights from the buildings and cars, however, still stubbornly gleam through it. Vanya wipes at her eyes and places the sealed sandwich bag down.

She swallows and then speaks to the night, "In case you get hungry."

The wind whistles but Vanya keeps going, voice trembling and words nearly whispered, "It’s been a while. Diego doesn’t think you’re coming back." She sniffs and twists her fingers, "I know you’ll be back soon. Probably. I know you wouldn’t just leave like that."

She looks up, blinking away tears that sparkle like Christmas lights against the city's glow, "I just really miss you, Five."

She sits in the cold and damp, peering upwards.

She doesn’t see any stars.


	2. Don’t ya know this life goes on?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place in the present day :)

Vanya felt wrong, laying in her old bed, peering up at the ceiling.

She wasn’t supposed to be here. She wasn’t welcome here.

She supposed that was probably for the best.

The Umbrella Academy had never really been home.

Vanya sat up and turned, she caught sight of the drawers to her desk hanging open. She hadn’t remembered doing that, but well, it had probably jostled loose when she’d bumped into it earlier. Vanya moved to close it, but she stopped. 

The key to the roof.

Despite her better judgment, she picked it up. It was a wonder Dad had never found it.She glanced quietly, nervously, at the door to her room.

Why not?

She padded across the carpeted hallways, careful not to wake her brothers and sisters. Soon she found herself at the door. The rusty lock clicked and turned with little resistance. 

Vanya opened the door and looked out.

The academy might not even be one of the taller buildings now, but it still left her feeling breathless to see the city spread out before her. She looked up and her lingering anxiety seemed to quiet at the stars peeping out from among the city's afterglow.

The tarp wasn't there anymore, but she walked across the roof anyways, sitting down and letting her legs dangle over the edge of the roof.

"It’s nice out, isn’t it?"

Vanya jumped, losing her balance.

A hand grabbed frantically at her shoulder.

She stilled, chest heaving before looking up. It was Five. He seemed concerned and definitely worried that he’d almost startled her so bad that she fell a couple stories. He broke the silence again, sounding rather annoyed, but his undertone shot through with relief, "Sorry."

Vanya nodded and Five sat down beside her.

It was strange. It had been so long.

He was here now, though- and looking so _so_ young. 

Something about the roof always seemed to draw the words out of them... always seemed to make her feel less numb. Vanya looked at the road below, "We missed you. _I_ missed you."

Five kicked his legs, his new permanent frown softening just a little, "I did too." His hands gripped the edge of the roof as he added almost as quietly as she usually was, "I missed you a lot."

Vanya smiled, fragile and broken and sharp as glass- full of the love she didn’t know how to express.

Five smiled too, though it was more of a grimace as she looked up at the stars.

He spoke too quietly for her to hear, "I'm sorry. I’ll make sure that whatever happened, doesn’t." He gripped the rooftop harder, "I’ll stop it." 

When Vanya looked down, she was expecting him to be gone, but somehow, he was still there, brows furrowed and mouth pursed as he sat, deep in thought.

Vanya smiled sadly, gratefully, and watched the sun rise.

**Author's Note:**

> Hit me up on tumblr: https://socialanxietyandotherthings.tumblr.com


End file.
